DaYs and the future

2009-12-08T06:12:00.000-08:00

i am sorry for what i did i shld nt hav said that to u.i didnt know that u thought of me that way and it ruined everyting for u.i am sorry

2009-10-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

Tis holidae is passin by so quickly and soon it will be a new term for me.Will it be a good one or a bad one?Know one will knw the ans but i know tat i can make it a good one all i hav to do is to put in effort and more effort.Through out tis holidae it has taught me many lessons and i will bear them in mind.If onli and If,this word always appears in everyones mind,if onli i could turn back time and If.Turning the time backwards is not possible and forgiveness does nt change the past but i will learn from my mistakes.Worked for a mth nw i tink and workin wif the crew has been a great time and they brought laugher to me no matter is it the hard time or the happy times i will always remember u guys thought we will go our seperate ways after the holidaes.

In everyones lives they will make mistakes but hw much does it take to be given a second chance..

2009-09-22T23:53:00.000-07:00

OMG more bad news hais i hav to rest for another 10daes?tat is wat he doc told me but he gave me a mc tat covers me untill the end of the mth.I thought ok liao le den he told me tyhe blodd clot still dere so need to rest more ai yo rotting at home untill i wan die le la omg so sad cannot go work and do anyting can onli sit at home and rot haha shall do some readin and blah blah blah will nt waste too much time.JIA you!!my ankle u can do it faster recover many tings are waitin for me haha

2009-09-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

Feeling so helpless nw tat my ankle ligament is healing nt onli can i nt play soccer,move ard,cook my meals,meet up wif my friens,go to the gym and last but nt least my work at everyting wif fries.Feel realli sorri to them and hw they hav to cover my work when i am nt ard and i am sure that they are damn busy everydae and i cant do anyting because of my leg.Shayne my manager called me todae and asked if i was comin for work but i cant cos when i stand i tend to lean to one side and limp like an old man omg hw suay can i get i realli wanted to go back but my dad asked me to rest at home if nt i would hav asked him to rush me down fell super helpless and as to y tis has to happen to me.I hav also neglected my Vipers team mates and hav not played wif them in a very long time i hav missed many matches nt onli because of work but also i hav to go to my grand parents hse or my cousins hse.

Hope after i see the doc again tml i will be able to work on thursdae cos i also gave shayne my word i will be there on thursdae to work.PLEASE AH tolong ah let my ankle heal ah,i cant stand nt being to run and walk and doin the tings i always do.Nw i know the pain of nt being able to move and walk my poor ankle hais will take good care of u from nw on.My best frien also told me tat my ankle will nt be as strong as it is and tat if i were to hav another injury to the ankle the consequences will be much worse or even the untinkable.Hope the doc gives me good news haha shall be positive and will pick up where i left and give everyting my 200% muahaha!!!!

2009-09-19T20:09:00.001-07:00

Fridae was a shitty dae if i had known i would nt hav put my legs on the line and kena injury damn sian la.It was a damn painful tackle on the ankle and i juz fell down no strength to walk.My ankle swell untill like an ostrich egg the whole part is sore and cover in blu black cant even turn and move the ankle onli the toes can move.Doc said its a torn ligament in the ankle and i will be ok after like 4 daes?hope will be better cos nex fridae gt a match and i hope i will be ok by then.Wanted t work on sat and hoped that my ankle was ok but it is juz impossible i can't even stand up for 5 mins went to give my MC tat dae and so happen i saw GARY lucky ah otherwise i dun noe hw to walk to the back door he immediately ask me to go home and rest cos i was limping quite badly and once i touch the ground it is impossible to stand.

Hope tings will turn out better and everyone to stay happy.

2009-09-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

haiz i dun noe y but i feel awkward and strange when i am workin haha like i dun belong dere nt realli out of place bah is juz tat i feel left out at times and i can see it.Never mind bah anywae i dun tink i will be workin tat often liao muz take more daes off.

2009-09-14T03:01:00.000-07:00

What are friens for and wat do they mean to u?Well all i can sae is i am juz upset and dissappointed.Hw would u feel when they treat u worse than a dog and when u lookin at tings they juz simpily walk away and when they look at tings u hav to follow them,what kind of frien is tis?when they need u they treat u like a treasure but when u hav no use they simply juz dun care and ignore u.U can sae tat i am petty and cheapskate but y dun u take a look at other ppl on hw much they get a mth,u get 3 or 4 times more den me,your one mths allowance is equal to 4 mths of my allowance.U tink tat 100 or 200 is very cheap but that is wat i hav to live according to, i am nt as fortunate as u so wat if i stay in a hse better den others,the allowance i get is onli 200 a mth i hav to save bits and scraps and nw i hardly buy any clothes or wat so eva i hav to save 2 to 3 mths to buy a 100 dollar plus ting.If u dun noe me well enough u can sae tat i am petty and cheapskate but deep down inside u dun noe me at all,i cant afford expensive gifts and expensive meals i hav to save but still i gave in and although i complained a bit i still gave more den i shld give.I am always dissappointed by ppl ard me i give and give and wat i get dissappointments not once not twice but many many times.Being hurt completely and left in a lurch for myself tat i will neva forget hw i was treated once and embarrassed in front of so many ppl, onli to get more hurt deep down and i begged on my knees but still she persisted and juz didn't care.This is hw much i went through i dun wan to elaborate further and tink wateva u ppl want as long as i know who my real friens and close friens and loved ones are,i want to open my eyes and look for friens and ppl who are real friens and not 2 faced etc etc..... Now i know wat kind of a frien i was to them.

Dun wan sae and type anymore on tis kind of ppl and ppl who hurt me u can juz be your happy self and do wat u wan do and tink wat u wan.I know tat god will give me strength and wisdom in helpin me gettin through tis dun wan be angry anymore.

2009-08-29T22:13:00.000-07:00

PPL tink tat all guys break their promises and onli blah blah blah but first y nt u sit down and tink WHY? did tis happen and WHAT? did u do in the process of tryin to bring it back together and it did nt turn out the way it shld be and please reflect on wat u had done to worsen the ting dun always sae ppl break their promises and all the shit u r juz plain childish and narrow minded and tink about wat u had done and to hurt ppl further

2009-08-15T07:51:00.000-07:00

had a tiring day today gt to run to 2 places.Didnt want to go service todae but i pulled myself together and went becos i was goin to hav inner wif my cousins at 7 plus and i am nt sure if i would be able to make it,but i trusted in HIM and all went well half way through the service i rushed out and was on my way to BISHAN which is like so far away haha gt there in time lucky me!

i dun noe wat to do anymore...u r enjoying your life so i tink i shld nt intefere anymore

2009-08-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

EXams are coming and i am stressed out man totally stressed muz keep studyiong and must nt slack.I will grow stronger.

recently see many ppl found their love and i wish them happiness and treasure each other,dun juz do tings on your own and nt consider the other half of u think before u do anyting.Am nt lookin forward to the NDP and the rest of the year it jus brings me saddness and hw i was betrayed and left alone.Since u hav someone u like den i wish u the best and your words are a so true and i know y u said tat to me.

2009-07-11T08:47:00.001-07:00

Actualli had no mood to go for service todae dun noe y but i dun hav the mood and i was feelin gloomy and somemore we gt the gathering actualli also dun feel like goin but after joel called me and asked me to go den i finally decided to go and dragged myself.But the message todae was good and it revealed many tings to me.

Dun noe y but my heart still hurts and to make matters worse i juz saw u walkin wif another guy juz the 2 of u and tis is nt the first time but my mood juz sank i juz cant help but tink tis way and it is not onli me. i find tat facin u will be very hard and images will ju flash in my mind of wat u did.I just dun understand y i still love u when u already throw away everyting i juz dun noe WHY .Why cant i juz smile and nt put on a fake smile pretending to be happy when i am nt .Hw can i every love and trust someone again.

2009-07-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

Wishin u all the best in your exams and all,grow well too haha when the time is right i will talk to u. :D

2009-06-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

HAHA gt back 2 of my papers MATHS and ECTA some computer ting haha and i passed hahaha lol the teacher even told me saeing"I am so relieved that u passed"den give me a big smile hahaa lol finally i passed liao le haha so nw is juz hav to work hard haha ECPM confirm pass de la haha so wats left is onli my EID electriacal shit installation haha damn sian hate the teacher also haha he is an IDIOT!!!Stupid Uncle always lke to find fault wif everyone haizz!Y i get such a teacher qi si REN!!!!Tml will know the results le haha tink will DIE sia haha damn scared but i am nt surprised haha.

2009-06-26T04:19:00.000-07:00

The person whom u love and trust the most will one day come back and hurt u in the most painful and unforgettable way so therefore dun trust anyone easily even though it is someone love the most.

the ugly people always get bullied,trampled upon and made use of tis is wat i learnt throughout my life and i acknowledge that i am an ugly person.Good lookin ppl always get tings the right way and girls wif good lookin boyfriens will realli treasure them and wont break up wif them no matter wat problem they face another point made.

St john island

2009-06-25T18:32:00.000-07:00

Went to St john island for camp from tuesdae to thursdae haha went dere late because went to do tings in the morning hahah.Reached the jetty dere at abt 4.55pm and i thought i was late but den i saw MJ and heng ah still gt boat i thought i dun need go le haha.Took a small boat to the island and the view was great and the wind was like the best i ever breathed haha thought nt as good as the air at my hse here haha but the scenery wan great.Played alot of games and made new friens haha i enjoyed the water bomb the most haha cos it is messy and the most fun haha everyone was like excited when we could throw at each other and free for all haha lol gt thrown by alot of ppl and damn wet la haha xiong kai and vincent were like so dry and i was totally soaked yucks!!haha.All of us prepared the skit for the Finale night and it was a great success.We gt the best team cheer and i can sae that it was the best that i hav heard throughout all the camps that i went.Realli enjoed the camp throughout and it was realli inspiring.

I tired to talk to u but wat do i get,u juz treat me like a nomal frien and when i was concerned u juz dun look at me and tok to me but juz sae 1 or 2 sentences and talk to your other friens ignoring me and not caring that i am standing beside u.Too bad that i was born ugly and not good looking so i alwasy get wat i deserve.When i "touch" u u would sae that girls and guys cannot touch but i see your teammates touch u and u neva sae anyting onli for me u will sae stuff to hurt me,yah u will sae that we are not together already but i cant believe that u would sae such a ting to me and i can see that u dun feel anyting abt me already.I also feel that u like someone else so ok i get wat u r tryin to do.There are many tings that i wan to sae but forget it i can onli sae that u r a girl who doesnt care less and mant tings i wan to do but forget it i dun tink i wan to do it anymore seeing hw u treated me. if u can do it to me y cant i,if u can no feelings y cant i.There are many times in the camp where u purposly ignore me and pretend that u neva see me ok i am game on it if u wan do it that way ok.

2009-06-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

Holidae are here haha 2 weeks is too short for me haha i wan 1 mth haha y so unfair uni ppl get 1 mth but we 2 weeks i wan protest nex week will be the camp at St John island haha dun noe to be excited or wat haha dun feel excited for the camp abit dun feel like goin haiz dun noe y also maybe......dun wan to write la i still dun feel very good haha anywae there are tings tat i cant describe and dun noe who to tell

NATIONAL STADIUM

2009-06-07T07:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterdae finally played at the national stadium haha it is the first man haha i muz sae tat the stadium is damn huge and big and i can understand y.Now i know hw the Singapore players felt when they stepped into the field.Imagine all eyes were lookin at u from the seat and from the grand stand,it is juz great.The first match was between vipers B team and the seniors the A team haha damn stressful sia.I also gt my jersey haha lol one was yellow and one was in white haha and one pants haha look like bumble bee la when wear the pants and the yelow jersey haha lol.My number is 14 haha lol neva expected tat but since i get it den its fine haha 14 is also a good no haha.It was a well fought match and everyone played their best .We were able to hold them off 0:0 haha it was untill the second half during injury time and 2 minutes before the game ended a free kick was awarded to the A team and GG they scored and we were totally shocked to the core and a minute before the game ended i tried to do the impossible haha but i still did i tried to dribble after the kick off and after dribbling past 2 defenders i was fouled and it was the best opportunity to level the score.I took the freekick and i crossed to taufik and he headed in but it was nt counted as the REF said it was OFFSIDE wah lau damn du lan and so it ended everyone gave their best and we were proud that we played our max and at the end of the game we were happy and no regrets.They are a great bunch of friens haha.
2 other teams also came for the challenge and i am nt sure abt their names haha and so we had to fight for the 3rd and 4th placing.And again we gave it all haha our chances were too many liao le haha lol i came on in the second half as the manager wanted me to rest haha dun noe y second half came so quick la haha again all eyes are on our team nw damn stressful la and u dun wan to dissappoint them seeing hw far we came and hw far our team bonded.I had many chances haha and i ran like one mad dog haha even though i was tired i still carried on and it was untill tis challenge tat ended my time in the match.As i evaded a defender his boot studs came into my shin and the pain was simply unbearable i juz collapsed onto the ground and i thought i broke my leg as i could nt move.As my teammates came to take a look they were shocked becos i was nt wearin my shin pads and blood could be seen,the bruise was damn huge the studs of the boots were like tattoos and it swell up immediately,they had to put ice packs onto my shin becos it was realli blue black and swollen,but luckily after a while i still managed to get up and sit near the bench and watch the game.All of them scolded me and ask me y i neva wear shin guards haha i said cos very in the way and they scolded me more haha they sae competitive games cannot be taken lightly and my leg could hav been broken and out for at least 6 mths haha tis is a lesson learnt haha i will wear my shin pads and be a good boy hahaha finally tasted wat it felt without shin guards and all it was a great dae haha hav a lot of tings to sae but neva mind la hahhaa juz end it here.Wan to thank everyone in the team for being so concerned and great knowing every single one of u haha including the seniors haha hope tat in time to come i will be able to play for u guys and be a much better player haha believing in tat dae to come.

right nw i dun wan to tink anyting abt u i juz wan to concentrate in my life.Go and look for your life partner whom u sae appeared in your dream la and i finally knew u actually dreamt abt a guy and saw u and him a the swing and u neva told me abt it when we were together and u juz took me as an asshole and an idiot THAnks alot.

2009-05-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

FINALLY i fulfilled my BUilding FUND hahaha muahahaha thought i could nt do it bt in the end i did it haha phew.Darryl talked to me after service and we realli talked alot regarding alot of tings ah haha realli enlightened and it made me realise lot of tings like wat i shld focus and tat she and the cell grp are always dere and tat we are a family.Darryl also said I shld nt change my values because of someone who could nt see and appreciate the values that i had.Totally understood wat she was tryin to tell me.If she dun appreciate them and did opposite tings to hurt me den i shld nt feel so sorry for myself and tormenting myself.I realised wat Darryl tried to do and she was helping me and nt to force me into doin tings,i have someting big waitin for me and i shld go for it and not stop at tis point of my life where tings are not goin good for me.Believing in that and time will reveal tings to me bah.

2009-05-22T03:01:00.000-07:00

Enough said anyway u will be ok after tis sat den after tat u will be happy again so be happy and lead your happy life.

2009-05-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

HOMEWORK HOMEWORK AND MORE HOMEWORK wah lau eh goin to faint le la so many projects to do also tests tests and so many tests y is year 3 so hard one haha neva mind it will be a great test for me on hw i am goin to handle problems now and in the future i hate homework remind me of hell in secondary skool dae in and out is all homework homework haha.Not an easy week for me bah alot of times i get negative thoughts but still i know i have to overcome them and i can seriously sae it is not easy not for me.For tis past 7 mths the tings i hav gone through wat is known as HELL not easy at all.Disappointment, anger and questioning myself wat hav i done wrong and where did it go wrong and was i the problem, after everyting i thought i done right onli to crumble,make my heart hurt for 5 mths and she doesn't even care.She can even ignore me ok i get the point while i was suffering she was enjoying her life. i shall juz buzz off and dun be a idiot waitin and wondering hw are u onli to be ignored and wat for i see u online and u see me online it is juz a barrier and obstacle that u need to clear sooner or later.U juz do wat your sister and your leader sae bah anywae wat they sae are always correct and i cant beat in anyway juz like u they will use the bile and prove to u everyting.Do wat u wan la watever u do to others it will come back to u.U wan tok den tok dun wan den dun wan.

2009-05-09T20:19:00.000-07:00

Didn't know that u are goin through such a though time if i can forgive u and me so can u bah though it is nt completely fogiven but let time heal u and let u be the happy girl that i once knew.Maybe we got together at the wrong time when we r nt mature and all.When u r healed and all den u talk to be bah i am ok wif it jiayou wor!!will be prayin for u and for myself also.Hopefully by the nex time we meet again we can handle it properly and start all over again.Like wat your motto saes i Smile big big no matter wat i will also learn from u bah so for now jiayou bah i hav faith in you.Real friens are those that will understand u no matter wat mood or behaviour that u r showing bah they will be dere to lend a ear to u without conditions and they will not demean u to make u more miserable.

Stay happy

2009-05-09T08:46:00.001-07:00

This month is goin to be a tough month for me bah after giving to the building fund which i am still short of a little more,i realli dun noe wat to do liao i am seriously seriously broke.I had to pay for my friens com repair which i knocked and i have to cough out 100 bucks for it which is juz a small knock but neva min it is me to knock it so i shall not persist i juz hav to pay.Hav been eating sweet potato for the past 4 to 5 daes already and i can onli eat my proper meal at home when i am having dinner i dun noe hw to survive like tat realli chum!!Hope that HE will see the effort i am trying to put in here.

each time i see u,my heart will shatter u juz dun understand do u, time and again i juz wonder to myself hav i nt loved u enough or am i nt good enough for u to do tings to me to hurt me so badly and i had to suffer for months is tis wat i get in retuen for lovin u?

2009-05-05T19:02:00.000-07:00

U make it sound like as though u r the one being hurt the most.U dont hav any idea hw much i suffered in the mths that passed,your words and your doings hav torn my heart apart.But still after much time i am still able to forgive for wat u did.I forgive but i dont forget.So y is it so hard for u to forgive?If u r able to do it without hesitation and said No to everyting that i asked after u did the untinkable den y is it so hard for u to "forgive" and cant forgive me for wat?not being able to handle wat u did to me ah?

2009-04-28T08:54:00.001-07:00

June the 6th will be the dae when i will be gettin my team kit and offically play for an amateur club.Though it is Team B but i know that tis is the stepping stone for me and is one step closer to my goal.Finally will be settling in the club and i am ready to improve myself to be better and better haha.

2009-04-10T10:41:00.000-07:00

hmmm haha where shld i start blogging haha tink i start on thursdae bah haha.Thursdae was damn sian bah haha had to see lecturer wif my parents of all ting wif my parents buay tahan ah haha lucky is juz to sign some tings abt my the results de waste my time haha cause me to late for soccer haha lol.Rushed to the court and met harold they all all of them started le so i hav no choice but to wait haha quite long neva play court le bah haha quite ok lah run here and dere haha damn tiring,played for about 4hrs i tink haha shld be gt tan dao la haha i dun wan to be fair fair de haha i wan golden brown haha.Went to Mac and ate our dinner dere haha saw alot of those year one ppl bah haha alot la cant stand haha see their orientation shirt wan laugh ah is like gettin worse and worse haha heng i nt in year one ah otherwise so pai seh haha went home at abt 10 like tat haha.Todae neva do much haha played street in the morning wif bernard and jingwei they all haha also gt to wake up early wah almost cant wake up haha but heng still can after dragging myself here and dere haha played like carzy and i headed someones head haha gt one blue black on my forehead haha i neva felt anyting but when come home then can feel le haha heng is juz a small little bump haha i pity the guy sia kena the side of his head haha den he juz lie on the floor haha but thank god he is ok haha lucky not indian or malay haha otehrwise confirm will wan fight haha lazy to type anymore haha gt to sleep BYE BYE!!!!

2009-04-05T08:02:00.000-07:00

Todae was yet another great dae bah haha lol i went for cell grp and on the way it rained like mad la haha lol wah damn sian man get down the bus also can get drenched haha went to CG wif Si ying and Jennifer haha lol tink is like tat spelt bah haha welcome her to the CG haha hope that she will be rooted to the cell and grow wif us haha lol.As i was one of the refreshment IC, i dun noe wat to do le haha so me and Si ying thought of doin bread haha lol easier ma we bought one loaf and confirm will be not enough de haha so Joel called me and ask me to buy one more loaf haha lol in the end also not enough bah i tink haha lol muz buy 2 big loaves and one normal one haha we had peanut butter spread and Nutella haha glad that everyone is enjoying it even thought it was juz a simple refreshment haha Darryl also gave us her canned tuna i tink haha it was nt bad haha more ingredients,SUCCESS haha shall tink of more and better tings haha.CG todae was led by Ming JING haha he preached a damn good message todae haha was very inspired and it was refreshing to the mind and he challenged us to write down the 5 names to come to our mind and that is nt the most shocking one we thought that it was over but den he said :"OK nw call them" everyone was like in total shock and we were given 15 mins to do it and to all our amazement and most of it is the faith that god gave us we managed to get 16 friens to come for the EASTER haha in juz 15mins?What more can we do for thge nex 7 daes haha we can do alot more haha.Oh yah before i forget haha Mei ling my connect group leader will be goin to Korea for 1 week of holidae haha and i dun noe y i said i help u be the connect grp leader for the week haha she agreed haha Darryl also smile smile and said ok i tink haha this is the test of my faith and i know that o can do it de wif the strength and the faith that GOD has given to me haha I will do a good job and prove to evryone haha.After CG toked to Ming jing for a while and he asked me to read the one oon Mathew haha it is a bt FAITH haha shall dwell in it more and understand all thge verses haha shall ask if i dun noe anyting haha.
Finally after toking and fellowshipping wif Darryl and Ming jing the 2 power hse, i was supposed to go for Dinner at home de haha but in the edn i lazy ah so i went out to eat wif Georgina and Si ying haha we went Cityhall and eat haha MARINA i tink haha we couldn't decide on wat to eat haha damn funni tis process haha so finally Burger King haha.Still gt alot alot more bah haha too much to write le haha ti is one of he longest post haha shall continue part 2 tml haha gt to bath nw hehe bye bye!!!

2009-04-04T09:35:00.001-07:00

Todaes service was yet another great one bah haha learnt many new tings and each time is a revelation to me and sometimes it will juz blow me away haha realised someting and that is GOD wont give us everyting in one go bah he will bless us bit by bit and slowly and lastly it will be a good finish.Believing that i will be a good finisher haha.Trials and tributions are always there bah everyone will go through that and by it u will grow into a better person and i believe that one day i will be more and more like god in terms of character and others....I will also be a good finisher in completing my first ever building haha lol though it is small but i believe that god will take it as though it is a treasure and dear to him and that he will see the effort i am trying to change myself inside out.Also wan to hav faith in many tings bah like my studies,relationship wif ppl and some personal relationship stuff.Shall trust in him and not tink negative and discouraging stuff.Tml shall be preparing refreshments for the CELL group haha i muz make an effort to wake up haha early early even though i bought the stuff already haha but need to prepare.Oh yah i tml also hav my soccer trial at AMK there haha acualli gt to be there at 3 but i will go CG first den i will rush down bah hope that god will give me a way to get there early and to give me the strength i need to get in,it wont be easy but i believe that god will be there for me watever problems and difficulties i face.
That is all bah haha lol shall blog more frequently and update more haha lol got to hav my sleep or tml wont be able to wake up haha lol GOOD nites!!!TATA~~~

2009-03-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

Had a great service todae on wat Pastor Kong preached, it was a very big revelation and was quite impactful haha i realised i had to change in quite a few areas such as judgements and Anger outbursts haha i am not afraid to admit it as it is a waking up point for me i will change in this areas and be a better person.Sorri if i ever shouted at anyone i will change as time to come haha this is priority haha.Will do more for the cell and serve my leaders haha especially DArryl haha she is a great person and very helpful to me haha always putting up wif my emoness haha and telling me wats right and wrong waking up call for me.The cellgrp is also very loving haha like Bernard ,Yi Quan if i nt wrong haha pearly,Si ying, Esther,Joel,John,Xiong kai,Kiat Seng,Vanessa,Mei lin my connect group leader haha,Mei yan,Xue ni,Georgina haha sorry if i left u out haha i can only tink of all this names so sorri haha hope to have good releationships wif all of u haha and MAY OUR CELLGRP GROW hahaha

2009-03-04T07:45:00.000-08:00

i wonder if she knows hw i feel abt her

2009-03-02T03:02:00.000-08:00

sometimes i tink do u realli wan to start again or do u juz dont want to tok.always i tok to u u will sae u busy lah doin someting else i damn du lan already den reply also reply one sentence one sentence i ask u wat u reply.If u dont want tok sae la i tink u wont do tis to other ppl la onli for me only onli me FINE la do it your way.I tink if i neva tok to u u will still put there available it is onli when i tok den u put busy and may nt reply.Sometimes i wonder hw much a person can change.

2009-02-26T21:03:00.000-08:00

Sorri for tinkin so much.I thought this time it would be different but i was wrong shld nt hav bothered u.The words that u sae are like knifes goin through my heart and u may nt know that it realli hurts me and tears will juz flow even as i am writing tis.I am sorry i juz dun noe hw to tok to u or when i shld tok to u cos each time i tok to u,u r either busy,doin someting else or goin out le.

2009-02-24T23:03:00.000-08:00

Oh yah forgt to add someting haha when we went to buy char kway teow the uncle sae :"Ah girl ah is that your sister"oh my goodness i thought i heard wrong den when he sae it again i ji tao damn ma lu la oh my goodnesss!!!!!!!!!!Den Siying laugh untill the world world like goin come down like tat hahaha tis is nt the first time le loh!!!

2009-02-24T09:22:00.000-08:00

Todae was the last day of my EXAM haha damn happy lah ECPM is quite ok bah is my most qing song de haha lol.Ended at abt 4 haha but i left earlier lol haha very sian ah i onli know 3 out of 4 questions.Met Siying after tat hahawent to fellowship wif her and to see her dog botak haha lol damn funni la den saw one poodle so small also botak left the head dere gt hair onli hahaha Siying dog damn cute lah haha like to lick ppl so cute la hahaha after tat she went meet her frien haha so fuuni lah wat they tok abt lol neva expect to hear tat from her lol.Thanks alot Siying for lending me money haha i tis month pok liao le haha waitin to get allowance haha ate char kway teow haha alot sia eat untill wan die le haha.Tok alot of tings bah haha lol it was fun as i can sae haha i also free todae no plans.Went to woodlands interchange to take 169 haha reach home abt 45 mins???haha i tink la.On the way home thought alot of tings bah haha anywae hope she is doin fine and Wishin her Good LUCk haha tink she also forgotten abt me le bah haha.

1 more dae

2009-02-23T01:46:00.000-08:00

STudied like crazy for 2 daes man all the way from 9pm to 2am den i wake up at 6 and look again at the questions and try realli very very tired but i prayed to god for strength and i MUZ do WELL I MUZ AH i already prmised i will work hard i muz mean wat i sae.1 more dae juz 1 more dae will do please give me the strength god am also havin shortness of breaths dun noe why sometimes like cant breathe maybe i dieing le bah haha lol maybe if i die den ppl will be happy bah hahaha

1st dae of exams

2009-02-19T09:08:00.003-08:00

oh my goODness my first paper is coming and it is EM3A maths arGhhHHhhh wish me luck haha lol goin to sleep le haha

continue from darryl hse!!!!

2009-02-16T21:34:00.000-08:00

HAHA forgt to mention also on sundae when i went to Darryl house after the cell group meetin was over and there was fellowship.Hotdog came out and he was like so excited la haha damn active la the dog and so jumpy haha was a bit scared as he like my previous dog haha so jumpy scary la haha he was kept in the kitchen and left to run freely nt in the living room haha onli in the kitchen.When i went into the kitchen he chase after me la he bit my shirt and gt 2 holes in the front la den when i turn ard to wash my hand he bite my backside la so painful la haha he dun wan let go leh and i walk a few round wif him stil hanging on my butt la u can imagine hw painful haha lol den finally hw willing to let go haha the whole cell laughing at me la and i am the only guy and onli person who kena bite by the doggy la no one ever kena bite in the backside b4 so sad he dun like me haha.When Ming Jing came home he laughed at me la haha so bad la.This was the first time a dog bite my backside cant imagine.

A time for change!!!

2009-02-15T04:01:00.000-08:00

Todae went for cell haha oh yah haven sae Darryl is my new CGL HAHA YAYYYYY!!!! she is damn good lah very caring haha also kind of miss desmond but yea i shld look forward to my new cell group and tat i will grow in the lord and be the prince that he desires and will look forward to the dae that i will change in my flaws and walk in purity and righteousness.Realli felt the love that the cell group has and that Darryl if i neva spell wrongly is a great great leader and her love could be felt troughout the whole cell and that i am sure i will grow wif her leadership and do tings and serve the cell.Am lookin forward to the dae that i hav realli change in everyting and that i can fulfill the promise that i made.Lifting all up to God but sometimes will still remember her and all.But the memories will be always in my heart and for nw i juz wan to grow and grow and be the person that god called me for.The rest is up to GOD and that hope that he will guide me in my walk and tell me if my directions and approach are the right choice.

Shall let nature take its course and that everyting will start all over again and also a new chapter

changi AIRPORT

2009-02-14T08:43:00.000-08:00

Todae was an emotional dae for me as it is nt onli Valentines dae but also the day that desmond flew to australia to study haha he will be there for 8 mths i tink and will be back in october like tat i tink.Wish desmond all the best in his studies and when he is back in singapore he will once again rise up haha who knows he may become a CGL again haha believing that it will come and that he will get a high paying job and will shine for god haha JIA YOU JIA YOU!!!!
TODAE is also Valentines dae and i wish everyone a happy Valentines DAE especially to the couples and those that are in love.Reminded me of last valentines dae wat i did and all but wat can i sae i am back to square one.It juz doesn't pay to be nice to someone and in the end wat u get????Don't wan to tink abt tat and i will neva forget the dae u rejected me 4 times and left me alone and u juz wonder off wif your friens.Will neva forget and will neva understand y u did those tings to me and even if i did understand u juz hav to reject me 4 times and nt give me a chance tis is wat i called grateful and loving.Good luck to u.

PM!!

2009-02-10T07:03:00.000-08:00

Juz gt back from prayer meeting todae is the 2nd time i go in a row haha it is nt abt the stamps and the free gift bah but it is abt gettin near to GOD each dae and to know him more and more.It was quite refreshing for me and i hope tat good and better tings will come for me and my prayers will be answered an heard by god bah still get the hurt sometimes and somemore Valentines dae is comin even worse.See those flower shops wif those teddy bears make me hate valentines dae and wan to strangle those bears.But still i cant be angry and shld ren sometimes i juz realli miss her,her eyes,her smile but i am also nt sure hw she feels and tinks somemore she ignored me and treated me like an unwanted pet when u love the pet u will stick close to it and when it is useless u throw it away and wont even look at it much less take it back.I am juz like an unwanted pet being abondoned and dumped and left to die in a corner hai.
Take care jonathan and good luck in your first dae of work tml.

prayer meetings!!

2009-02-09T22:55:00.000-08:00

Went prayer meeting yesterdae evening and met jonathan, yvonne at subway dere haha we chatted abit and soon we went to prayer meetin at river walk dere.Oh yah on the way to riverwalk i bought burger king cos subway abit ex ah haha den eat someting cheap bah.The prayer meetin was very impactful for me as i am goin through alot of tought times,hurt and dissappointment.But luckily i found peace in GOD and i can sae tat i hav changed in someways bah and i will neva repeat them ever again.As for my temper problem i hav found a way to control it bah and i know juz wat to do when i am angry and i wont shout at anyone much less in the public.I know wat my mistakes are and i am determined to change for the better and neva to tink of BACK SLIDING NEVAAAAaaaa!!!!!!! Went to CHinatown to eat dinner wif joshua and jonathan talked alot on the way and i will miss tis times man when we fellowship.Todae am also goin for prayer meetin in the evening wif jonathan haha hope i can see more breakthroughs and hav hope and faith which is lackin in me.

am wondering will tis valentines dae be the same as the others i hav?dun noe the answer

should i be happy or sad?

2009-02-08T07:02:00.001-08:00

Todae wen to Cg at desmonds hse haha at first thought i cant make it de but yea i decided tat i muz put in effort if nt i wont be changing anyting and juz remain the same.I wan to change and i will workhard towards it.Todaes message was great bah desmond shared abt living sacrifices and it realli impacted me deeply he also laid hands on us and i will walk tis road wif god and neva will i backslide.I wan to grow better in person in character so as to lead a meaningful life.Thought many stuff in my head bah need to pray and seek the ans.

And desmond suddenly said wan to disband the cell grp,i was in total shock bah but i tink tat he has his reasons for this decision and tat god also wan us to hav the best and creating the best ways for problems.Everyone was like very sad bah i can understand,its like everyone juz gt to know each other even thought the time was short but the tings tat we went through was alot bah but we shld nt be sad as we can still meet up and remain good friens.So wishing all the best in their new cells and grow well wor haha.And i also forgt to bring johns present so damn sorri i realli forgt evn thought u said it was ok but i felt very bad so sorri it realli slipped my mind.

After cell ended i quickly rushed to serangoon sec skool for soccer it was a long journey and the cab fare was damn high man haha lucky gt john pei me he stay quite near the field bah haha.NEVA expected to score hat trick man so happy haha i vented all my angry and sadness on the ball,it was a good team but we triumped and won YAy!!!.Jonathan is a realli good frien or shld i sae he is my best friend and buddy bah haha he stayed and cheered for me even though he had to do his project and all THANKS MAN steady steady haha

Tml still gt skooll at 8 GG better go sleep le haha

should i be happy or sad?

2009-02-08T07:02:00.000-08:00

Maybe i am fated to be single bah....

2009-02-04T02:13:00.000-08:00

It is goin to be another long dae on valentines dae bah, just ard the corner no plans on tat dae yet but dun tink will be goin out bah no point goin out on tat dae juz to remind myself of the tings tat i did with no sense of achievement and back to the starting point again.HAppy VAlentines DAe to all the couples in the WOrld bah wishin u Happiness and enjoy yourselves and also to those tat are dating bah wish u will find the right person and treasure him or her bah.Good luck to all the singles,hope u find the special someone.

wish u will find the Mr right in your life bah i already did wat i could le and even if i wan to repair the damage i dun even hav the chance to. I noe i dun deserve a second chance and maybe i am not good enough for u in terms of looks or character and to be even given a second chance.i guess that it is over between us and u hav already got over it and found someone special le bah.All the best.I will juz let god do the rest if we are meant to be together den let it be the new chapter and the best one yet bah.

Thoughts

2009-01-31T08:40:00.000-08:00

After all tat i have been and went through i realised some tings.the first one do not take for granted an answer juz by lookin wif your eyes but u need to use your EARS too.After close friens started opening up to me wat their problems are i realised tat a listening ear is important,do nt tink tat they look happy means they are happy.Look and hear b4 you tink tat is the answer.Lastly girls do nt wan to get physical wif guys too much even when thay are in a releationship cos they wan the releationship to be on love and to last as long as possible and hopefully to marriage.Now i understand wat i went wrong and to move on wif changing my other problems. :D

2009-01-23T08:11:00.000-08:00

You muz be tinkin tat a guy who has no qualities and noting tat fits u is worthy like a transparent piece of glass.U know wat u hav won u hav won avoiding me and doin tings to hurt me i realli hand it to u.Nw to tink over wat i had done for u and all even selling away tings for a special occasion and this is wat i deserved, i am worse den a guy who 2 timed and in the end still has a second chance whereas me?i dun even deserve a second chance and of all i was given a face like i am a public enemy and someone who juz commited a crime.May u find someone who will be full of qualities tat u like and wont do tings to hurt u and a all-rounder guy.Anywae anyting i do also useless already it was juz a wasted effort and i can see tat u r damn happy wif your guy and girlfriens.All the best to u and thanks for the tings u done.Anywae u wont see my blog or maybe neva even hear b4 so enjoy your life den.Making me helpless and all.

2009-01-22T07:26:00.000-08:00

After everyting tat i had done i realised tat wat i did and all was just noting to you and it was a wasted effort tinkin that someting will change.It was just wishful thinkin on my part tat tings would change for us all the tings tat i went through although i know tat u will nt feel anyting already i still believed and held on to tat little light.Lookin at u cry,down,sad and not happy i wanted to do tings but i am totally helpless, and angry tat i am nt able to do anyting much less to console u.I know tat being together again will be my wishful tinkin and for a girl memories tat r in the past will be gone one dae and i will juz be a passer-by or juz a normal person in your eyes like wat u said we will nt know wat will happen in the future from wat u sae from wat i feel i already know the answer deep in my heart and tat juz extinguished and kills the little light i hav inside of me.I hate myself for nt cherishing u and scolding u and all and even though the tings that u did to me i still cared and loved u for i cant hate u or juz erase u off from the memory inside of me.whenever i see ppl doin tings or i myself am doin, memories will juz flash past and the hurt will juz resurface.Feelin like a person wif no achievements be it in results or watever it is juz a failure.I just cant do anyting right.

believing

2009-01-02T04:26:00.000-08:00

I will grow in the word of god and will become a leader as i promised i will increase my faith and believe in god and after tat once i know tat i had improved and changed, i will start to do wat god saes and trust in him. Thanks for letting me know wat i hav nt change ,tis will be one of my new year and 2009 resolution.i will also change tis stupid bad temper of mine and treat ppl nicer!!
Believing and will do it de!!!!Wooooshhhh

COunt down 09!

2009-01-01T18:54:00.000-08:00

haha forgt to blog on thursae so blog it nw haha.Went to FL's hse for the countdown haha we had potluck and had fellowship while eatin and played games like poker cards and monopoly haha.As it was too late,we stayed over at her hse.In total abt 7 ppl stayed over haha as some of us can stay awake,we slept on either the sofa or floor haha.Minqi brother so good haha wen tto sleep in Fl's room and somemore gt air-con haha but the air-con was cold haha awhile inside can die liao haha.Had a good chat wif john overnite and he opened up alot of tings to me that i did not know.We talked abt the purposes when we come to christ and to sacrifice some tings that we hav to.Will realli keep it in mind haha thanks bro.OH YAh haha HUI YI helped me wif my no life blog haha spend alot of time choosing which font i wanted so many tings la thought blogging was easy haha but its not haha so hard sia all the lines and words see alreay also GG ah haha heng she helped me haha so tis will be my blog bah haha will slowly learn and improve haha.

Goin to prepare to go out le haha BYE bye!!!:)

Endin my heartache

2008-12-30T09:00:00.000-08:00

LOvin u was the time i enjoyed the most though we quarrel often but the love i had was real and i loved u wholeheartedly.Wishin that i could treat u better but rite nw it is all too late.Dun noe hw u feelin nw but u shld be happy bah wanted to call u but the comment u left me "Please leave me alone,before my impression change of u" will keep it in mind and no matter hw much i wan to cor u i will resist and ask GOD for strength for i believe that we will meet again somedae and start over again maybe bah,leavin it all to GODs hands and faith.GOD bless your family and your health.Will nt intefere into your life and give u unwanted troubles and irritations I am sorry for the tings i did and said to u.Wishin u happiness and good results and good health.Stay cheerful always!

a smile that hides the emotions i hav

2008-12-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

Seeing her moving on and happy with her life nw. I am happy for her to find the courage and strength.Even though it realli hurts whenever i see her passing by or at a distance visible to me i try to make myself feel happy and to forget her presence.But each time i do tat i deceived myself and feel hurt in one way or another.Things seem to be goin down the drain for me instead of pickin up and each time i do someting to make myself feel happy it tends to go back like a flashin memory after a few days and it feels worse and worse each time.The feelings i hav for her in my heart is like a constant river flowing unable to put a stop and it will take a very long time to heal and i feel that she is more happy now than when she was wif me, the constant quarrels and there is like more sadness rather than bringing more happiness into her life which i promised.It really really hurts wif each word that i am typing anywae i am just a normal passer-by or rather a total stranger in her eyes.Happy at hw u r doin nw and believing that u are happy nw.

Just a normal guy posting hw he feels and needs to write down to feel better.thanks for viewing